There is a core ingredient to achieving anything in life. It is having self-belief. It is about truly believing that you deserve your goals irrespective of what they are.
When you doubt your ability to succeed there is a good chance that your self talk will be negative. Phrases like “That’s impossible”, “I’ll never be about to do it” or “I’m not good enough” roll around your head and sabotage your chances of success because they are self fulfilling prophesies. If you believe that you won’t be able to do something then you will automatically seek out evidence that proves your self-talk is correct. No matter how clearly you define your goals, you will be less motivated to achieve and won’t give it 100% effort.
Self-belief isn’t just about believing in your abilities, it is also about believing you are worthy of achieving your goal. For instance you can logically know that you have the skills to get that dream promotion at work however if you don’t believe that you are worthy of the promotion you will lessen your chances of achieving it. When you tell yourself that you aren’t special or that others are better than you, you will act accordingly. Your behaviour will reflect the fact that you don’t believe that you deserve the promotion. So if you don’t believe that you deserve the promotion, why should anyone else?
Self-belief isn’t about vanity
There is a clear distinction between self-belief and vanity. Many people believe that you should always put others before yourself. This warped logic says that self-sacrifice proves that you are a good person. If you put your needs first, if you believe you deserve something and aren’t ashamed to say so then you are being vain.
This logic is completely wrong. Having self-belief and going after what you want isn’t vanity. Vanity is being a braggart. It is being conceited and looking down on others. You don’t have to be vain to have self-belief and you certainly don’t have to be conceited. You just need to believe that you do deserve your goal.
Positive changes happen when you have self-belief
Have you ever noticed how things quickly go from bad to worse when you start doubting your abilities? Suddenly you start making mistakes, you get stressed out and your negative thoughts intensify. Like a disease this negativity and self-doubt seeps into other areas of your life and life starts to look very bleak. All because you stopped believing in yourself. It sucks right?
Well the good news is that the opposite is also true. When you start believing in yourself, your mindset becomes more positive as you start to feel better about yourself. You start believing in your abilities and worthiness and start acting as if you deserve success. You become more motivated and determined to achieve whatever it is that you desire and because of this you move closer to achieving your goals. Your positive state resulting from your self-belief will also have a ripple affect, and you will start seeing positive changes in other areas of your life like your relationships.
Switching on your self-belief
Most people have at one time or another suffered a blow to their self-belief. Some people bounce back quickly, for others it can take longer. So if you lack self-belief, remember that you are not alone – everyone has been there at some point and if they can bounce back so can you.
If you are finding it difficult to get out of your negative self-talk and to believe in yourself, here are some tips to help regain your self-belief:
Hold up a mirror to yourself
Take a step back and really look at yourself. Think about your personality – what do you like about yourself? What good things have others said about you? Look at your capabilities – what are you good at? What have others praised you for? Come up with a list and write it down. Then look at the list when you are feeling down or have self-doubt, this list proves that you are worthy of achieving your goals.
Reflect on past successes
Remember that irrespective of how you are feeling right now, your past experiences prove that you are able to achieve success. They don’t have to be big things like winning an award, they can be anything from passing your high school exams, getting your degree or buying your first car.
Daily affirmations are a great way to get into a positive state of mind. By acknowledging all the things you are grateful for you begin to feel good about yourself. When you start to feel good about yourself, you start to believe in yourself and your abilities.
My parting note to you is this. Stop with your self-doubt and negative talk. Remember that no matter who you are or what your current situation is – you deserve success. You deserve to be happy and achieve your goals. There is no one more, or less, deserving than you.